To stop a stalker Relax and stay calm

It is essential that children feel in control of their thoughts and feelings so that thinking is clear. If children tend to react rather than act in positive ways, they need to slow down and slow down, including their brainwave activity. When children slow down their breathing, they slow down their brain wave activity creating a relaxed state of mind and body that triggers a more positive state of mind. Hyperventilation creates a frantic state and produces anxiety, fear, and negative emotions that shift us into survival mode.

It’s important to acknowledge and accept angry feelings, but it’s not okay to hurt someone. Consider having a trigger for calm. For example, you could carry a small object, such as a smooth stone, in your pocket, and then program your mind to feel calm each time you rub your hands over the smooth stone. You can also do an aural autosuggestion that every time you say the word “yes” or “calm” or any chosen word, you let go of all anger and feel centered and calm. You may prefer a kinesthetic trigger, such as clenching your fist with the suggestion that as you open it, feel your tension and anger slowly release. It is simply the power of suggestion in action and it works like magic.

how to stay calm

1. Stick with the word “stop”. We are so conditioned to pause when we hear that word that even when we say it to ourselves, we pause and think and often choose a better course of action than losing our cool.

2. Distraction is another way to slow things down and not react, but be proactive. For example, you can count the tiles on the roof or count the change in your wallet. Sing a happy song, take a walk and enjoy the splendor of nature. You could also read one of my many inspirational books. (How’s that for a novel idea?)

3. Express your anger creatively. You could write a poem, a story or a song that says it all and expresses how you feel. This is in addition to journaling, of course. Many successful people have produced world-renowned works by turning their pain into their passion to serve others well.

4. Walk away. If we go to a calm and relaxed environment, we feel calm and relaxed.

5. Play music that slows down your brain wave activity and your heartbeat. One affects the other. Baroque music causes a relaxed heartbeat as our heart synchronizes and harmonizes with the repetitive rhythmic pattern of the music, which is approximately 60 beats per minute. Music with sounds of nature is also always a good option. It brings you the soothing sounds of the ocean.

6. Count to ten before responding so you don’t regret it, as you can never take back the words or the pain they cause once you say them. When you pause and think twice, your mind shifts from the instinctual brain to the cerebral cortex, or the creative problem-solving part of the brain, where our thinking is clear and free of emotion.

Questions about anger:

Topics raise awareness and promote reflection and introspection. Here are some questions you could ask the children:

1. What makes you angry? What do you do when you get angry? How do you express your feelings?

2. As Dr. Phil would say, “How’s it working out for you?” Do you need to change your answer?

3. What could be a more effective response?

4. What do you need to stop doing and start doing to make the change?

5. Do you express your anger with respect and not with revenge?

The blame game doesn’t work

Getting even never works as it just perpetuates the conflict. Much of the anger is due to blaming others for our problem. Only when we own our problems and take responsibility for solving them do we claim control. When we blame others, we only feel more powerless and helpless, as we see others as in control of our misery. Why would you make such a choice and give up your power?

The expectations of immediate satisfaction of needs have created a somewhat narcissistic society. With unrealistic expectations, we’ve been conditioned to believe in a world that says, “feel good fast,” we demand instant love and push-button success. Frustration and anger are therefore so often the immediate response to not getting what we want. Teaching delayed gratification is essential to maintaining inner harmony, personal success, and a healthy society.

No conflict is resolved when people play the blame game, as it only creates a “push leads to shove” scenario. If only one person begins to accept some responsibility for the conflict, things are resolved. Taking responsibility is a sign of strength, not weakness. It doesn’t make you look bad, it makes you honorable and the “greater” person. It is an act of courage. It allows you to really listen. People often just want to be heard and recognized for how they feel. When someone doesn’t feel heard, they escalate and become louder in an attempt to communicate and be heard.

Be bigger than the problem

People imitate and mirror each other. By listening, taking responsibility, and showing kindness, the other person may unconsciously respond in kind. Most people smile when you smile and wave at you when you wave at them. The Law of Reciprocity comes into force. Most people instinctively return what is given to them.

This also gives you the power to lead and gives a positive direction to the meeting. To resolve a conflict, you must be willing to listen, be assertive rather than passive or aggressive, and compromise. Know that hearing the word “no” is not resistance or opposition, but an opinion different from yours. Learn to respect and honor such differences and always be patient. If we both think alike, one of us is unnecessary. Embrace diversity of thought.

To change a behavior or respond differently than you have in the past, here are some things you can do to help make the transition. It’s always good to try out the new behavior through role-playing or doing a mental rehearsal where you picture the confrontation in your mind. Instead of responding with anger or a tantrum, now imagine yourself responding with a calm, understanding, and mature response. You see yourself taking the “high road.” The important thing is that you know that you have a choice and that you can change. Commit to being bigger than the problem.